A set of two words which have been seriously misconstrued and under-estimated over these years. Let me have the honor of telling you how…. (bows down and falls flat on her face)
Last week , we were invited to my cousin’s 14th birthday and as is the rule, the whoooolleeeee family must be there, (YAWN) so there we were.
When we usually hear the word FAMILY PARTY, it’s literally supposed to bring back that family environment , where all the cousins meet , chit-chat about their boring and wannabe life , parents gossip about which cousin ran away with whom or which aunt is pregnant out of wedlock , in short, have loads of unasked fun. But, in my case, not only am I jobless literally, but going to this so called PARTY made me realize that yes, I am jobless in every sense of the word!! 😦
The first thing when I enter their house is sniff out their DOG. Yes, my hatred for dogs has been inspired by their scary yet tiny little dog who boasts of so much fur that PETA would literally slaughter him for this!!
Phew, I come to know he is locked!! Yippie!!
Secondly, the environment reminded me more of a funeral procession than a birthday party. Hell, there were no dangling HAPPY BIRTHDAY banners , no balloons and those disgustingly triangular shaped party hats. The only thing my ears eavesdropped on was the sad 40 yr old aunties talking to each other about,
“Do you know I’ve started going to the gym lately?”
“Ohhh…(Fake concern) so how’s it going?”
“It’s been a month now and my ass muscles feel so taut & tight,” (Chest Balloons)
(fake aunty laugh) Conversation continued…
hahahahaha and my husband sure likes them.”
I move on to the BBQ corner because after such a dose of enlightening discussion, I was hungry. The tikkas , paneer (cottage cheese) were well cooked and lip-smacking.
Then came the cracker of it all, CARD GAMES.
They aggravate ,bug and annoy me . Especially when none of the women in the family are invited for it . Not that they know how to play but still ! The next 2 hours were the worst 2 hours of my day and probably the most useless 1,34,500 hours of my life because all I did was watch how money traded hands, how my dearest daddy lost and the over-weight aunty snatched all the money (oh yes, I did have dinner too in the middle. )
Card Games are meant to be played where the entire family takes part and not when 70% of them are left to sit and loathe their life whereas the menfolk enjoy their drinks and have fun.
Alas, since everything has to come to an end….it did too . But then came the long lost tradition of clicking family photos .
“Come Child, it’s your family now. Bring Mom , Dad and Say cheeseee.”
I wanted to cry…I wanted to act demented..I wanted to go home. Bahhhhhh!!!
Thay day…I promised myself the following :
1. No more over-estimating family parties.
2. Never ever becoming an AUNTY in the true sense.
3. Last and the least, always get your car along in order to escape.