You know what’s awful??
Knowing that your parents are in another country, sojourning and you are still sitting wastefully in front of this computer, trying to write this article & the worst part is….YOUR CONCENTRATION IS OUT THERE…PLAYING FOOTBALL !!!
Yes….My parents are out of town!!! But wait…Do I look like I’m taking full advantage of it???
I am sitting at home, wearing the same 2 day old clothes with the same 2 year old jacket and babysitting my sister and my maid, when I should be out there in my best clothes , roaming around town like a stray dog , sniffing away to glory.
These, I quote, were the exact words of my father, before he made me the official watchman:
“Honey, you are the eldest of this family. Until we come back, you have to act as the mother of this house (jaw-drops).”
My eyes suddenly lit up and cheeks expanded to double their size as I thought to myself, “If I’m the mother, can I call the acting father of this house too!!”
“Did you hear what I just said honey and listen, for these 2 weeks, I’m going to give you Dhs 300 for the house expenses, I think that should be enough?”
“And yes, I forgot, keep a roving eye on this maid. If he acts smart, let me know and I shall give him a peace of my mind from there.”
“Both you and your sister should avoid going out at night and if you do, be back by 9pm, sharrrrrppp.”
I officially wanted to show my dad my birth certificate for a change today & make him realize that I am not a 2 or 7 year old, I am a FREAKING 27!!!
If this wasn’t enough, wait and read what my mom had in store for me,
OH WAIT!! Where in God’s name is my brother???
Just before I could spring to my ninja form, my mom in her most genuinely authoritarian best, brings her list forward:
“No. 1 – Get up every morning at 5am, and get your sister dressed for school , with her breakfast and water bottle .”
Oh wait, how old was my sister again? 16 right ?? Hmmmm….
My comments were again snubbed as my suggestions….
“No. 2 – Make sure the maid spotlessly cleans the house and cooks lunch on time, so that your brother & sister don’t have to wait.”
DO I EXIST?
“No. 3 – Don’t let your brothers unnecessary and rowdy friends enter my home and touch your father’s bar. If they do, I’ll catch your neck.”
That’s it. I quit.
“No. 4- oh yeah, the last and the most important one, No Late nights.”
I just felt like that aging lion that could not hunt because he was old but couldn’t do anything else, as he didn’t know anything else.
So this is the excitement, the fun, the frolic and the freedom I deserve. When my parents go out, I am no less than a supervisor nanny, just supposed to watch over people and gossip it to my mom and dad back home .
So much for Life’s good times!!
But you know like they say, if you can’t go to the party, CALL THE PARTY HOMEEEEE!!!!
*Music in the background, honey gets drunk and falls to the ground while her sister is still whining for her dinner*